I was coaching a manager faced with a dilemma. He had two bosses, a large team and a stack of feedback about what he should be doing.  He was confused. Take healthy control because you are responsible for delivering results through your team, he was told. On the other hand, empower your people so they take ownership of their work and make decisions that contribute to success.  

As if managing people wasn't tricky enough, he was faced with a paradox of management.

He felt he must simultaneously assert authority and delegate responsibility. We have all worked for managers that are too controlling. They stifle creativity and innovation. It’s not motivating. On the flip side there are managers that focus too much on empowerment. They risk losing control of their team and compromising performance standards. I'm guessing most managers can relate to this double bind.

What is a double bind?  

A double bind is where someone is trapped between two conflicting options or demands. It is a paradoxical situation where the person feels they have no good choices and must choose between two undesirable outcomes. 

Menopause is full of double binds and bias.   

It’s 2018 and I am in a meeting talking about one of my favourite topics. Talent. Specifically female and emerging talent.    

I’m doing my best to influence some key internal talent moves when suddenly I am melting. I'm on fire and sweating profusely and obviously in a silk dress. A hot flush has hijacked me.     

I snatch the AC turning it waaaaay down. I guzzle water wishing I had not had a coffee and reach for a napkin. I know I look like I don't know what I am talking about.

“What is wrong with you?” says my colleague.    

I shrug it off and say I'm just warm. I sweat some more (through my silk dress), forget my data, loose the thread and excuse myself in search of the bathroom.   

Work stress makes hot flushes more severe.

I don’t dare share I am having a hot flush for fear of ridicule or negative perception. Harvard research about menopause, work and leadership shows menopausal women who do not disclose their menopause status seem less confident and less emotionally stable (two traits associated with leadership).  The irony is, had I said “I’m ok, it’s just a menopausal hot flush” and shared my discomfort was caused by menopause, I would have been seen as a more confident, stable leader.     

80% of women endure hot flushes at work to varying levels of severity.   

Hot flushes are sudden feelings of intense heat and sweating. Mine were accompanied by heart palpitations, flushed skin and sometimes a big gush of cortisol with dashes of anxiety. Hot flushes are disruptive and another thing to deal with at work. I had a hard time concentrating between hot flushes and brain fog. They reduce productivity and can keep women away from the workplace. Hot flushes affect work and work affects hot flushes. 

Menopause is not “cool”.  

Menopause remains under-researched and under-discussed. Especially in the workplace. Despite being a natural biological occurrence, it is surrounded by myths and misunderstanding.   I was barely half way through what I hope to be a long healthy life when I was “diagnosed” as menopausal. I earned that diagnosis after years of frustration and pushing though hot flushes, brain fog, dizzyness, acne, joint pain, sleep disturbance, anxiety and more. Finally after 12 months of no menstruation I earned my menopause endorsement. It's the lead up to the "diagnosis" that is often the toughest time for women. Misdiagnosis is common. Often as anxiety or depression.  

There are common symptoms. There is no common menopause transition.

You are dealing with all of that at work and the inevitable stresses of midlife.

Here is the double-bind of menopause at work we must become aware of to break free from it. The double bind negatively impacting women’s careers and and workplaces talent pipelines.    

The double bind of menopause  

1. Privacy, embarrassment and unsupportive manager are the top reasons women fear talking about menopause at work. They rightly worry about negative bias around their leadership capability. Women in male dominated areas or in senior roles are less likely to disclose.  Menopause related discrimination is on the rise.  
2. Menopause is normal and we should be open about the fact menopausal symptoms adversely affect the ability to work for a period of time. If women are open they are more likely to get the support they need. That results in reduced stress and negative perceptions. Being open reduces bias negative impacts on engagement, and reduces the intention to quit.  

Making workplaces safe 

Menopause is far from the only thing people fear sharing in the workplace due to concerns about judgment, stigma, or negative consequences.  

Consider mental health issues, personal beliefs or values, sexual orientation or gender identity amongst other things.  

Many leaders are working hard to create workplace cultures that fosters trust, respect, and psychological safety, so that employees feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or negative consequences.  

How do you create the context for safe open menopause conversations?  

The first step it to become menopause informed.

Become menopause informed so you can promote open communication, encourage empathy and provide support for menopause in the workplace demonstrating a commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion. 

We can do this. We should do this.  

Employers in Australia are obliged to create psychologically safe workplaces. They have a duty of care. Training on menopause is important because it is related to psychological health and safety. Workplace policies and employee support including making reasonable accommodations are important.  

Benefits include employee well-being, productivity and engagement of a valuable workforce demographic of midlife women. That helps the whole organisation be successful.  

Can we do it like “Drew?” 

If Drew Barrymore can have her first hot flush on TV, surely we can make our workplaces safer for menopausal women.     

The opportunity for workplaces is significant. Circle in data shows

• 70% of menopausal women are not comfortable talking with their manager about their needs
• 76% would like information and resources available in the workplace.   

We need to press for more openness and a normalization of conversations around menopause.  Raise workplace awareness to make if ok to talk about menopause and reduce biases against menopausal women.

Education is not enough but it’s a great place to start.

Be informed. Make it safe and keep it real. If you’re not a menopausal woman, pack a jacket, a scarf or an extra layer on hand and when she turns the air down, don’t stare, don’t joke, don’t miss a beat. You know she’s having a hot flush – count yourself luck it’s not you and deal.  

Meno Collective help businesses become menopause aware, so they are both supportive and compliant for employees. We call that being menopause friendly. It makes total business sense. 

Meno Collective offers interactive masterclasses and engaging e-learning.