I was looking forward to, in fact positively embracing, my Change of Life or Menopause. I hated my monthly cycle so much from the age of 13 that I held this time of my life as a light at the end of a tunnel for me.  

Certain aspects of this change have sideswiped my positive thinking – some things have caused me to wobble slightly from my road route to my expected “period-free” serenity!  

I can’t remember all those things right now because the brain fog hasn’t quite cleared but, give me a minute, I am sure they will come back to me shortly. As I sit here squinting at my 27” screen for my computer I wonder how I have suddenly become so short sighted – I prided myself on my A1 vision over the years but now my arms aren’t long enough, and the “readers” are permanently on my head ready for action. Damn that pesky small writing on food packaging.  

I noticed that my office chair suddenly seems to have shrunk – surely my hips can’t have spread that much in lockdown – oh wait a minute didn’t I read somewhere that middle age spread was one of the greatest gifts that mother nature in charge of the change brought with her – she was certainly very generous when she knocked on my door. 

I remember now it was only 3 years ago I was a confident assertive business woman - now I am nervous when I think about a telephone conference I need to make. With full blown imposter syndrome settling in - how on earth did I hold down a decent job for all those years – I must have just been winging it! The feeling of doom occasionally washes over me but that is normal isn’t it when you hit 55 in the midst of an unprecedented pandemic.  

I remember as part of my menopause research – all 10 minutes of it – that once you hadn’t had a period for 12 months you were out and clear – off and running - hurrah – it can’t be that difficult to achieve that goal can it?  

 After a few false starts of reaching 70% of my objective and like a bizarre game of snakes and ladders having to go back to square one – I have been caught out a few times completely unprepared of necessary supplies - “Unidentified item in the bagging area” comes to mind.  

In hindsight (and I have a first class honours degree in it) would I have done anything differently if I’d done some more research. Would I have rattled with a variety of lotions and potions? Would I have had endless amounts of CBT because my relationship with my mother was far from ideal when It came to useful information? 

Honestly, who knows if I would have done it but these are a few things I wish I had done.  

• Watched my weight. 
• Improved the food I was eating.  
• Upped my exercise.  
• Taken more walks and fresh air.  
• Tried to remember that in my Mum’s day things were a whole lot different.
• Read up more  
• Talked to more friends & colleagues and joined some menopause forums and groups  
• Given myself less of a hard time   
• Talked to myself in the mirror for a few minutes every day and told myself “I love you” – “Be kind to yourself” & “You’ve got this.”  

As Morgan Harper Nicholls says “One day you will look back and realise all along you were blooming.” 

We help women renew self-belief so they can enjoy good health, careers and lives through and beyond menopause.   

By Beck Walsh