Menopause@Work Blog

Sharing information & experiences to take the heat out of menopause so today's woman and her workplaces thrive.

How to top up your tank (on your terms)

chocolate energy menopause midlife Jan 31, 2023

How is your energy today?

Watch out when my personal energy tank is empty. It’s ugly. The kids see it before I do. They run in the other direction faster than they ran towards the modem the other night when I threaten to turn off the Wi-Fi. My husband offers solutions only to get his head cut off. And my co-workers, well they avoid me for fear of catching overwhelm.   

I am passionate about how workplaces create the context for women to manage personal energy. I shared tips about habits to support energy in this recent blog. I posted about the importance of personal energy here on IG the day before Jacinda Ardhern resigned.

Jacinda Ardhern is an inspiring leader. She is authentic, courageous and compassionate. She left the position of NZ Prime Minister on her terms saying, “I no longer have enough in the tank.”

Research shows masculine leadership traits are admired in men and not for women. Jacinda led with grace under immense scrutiny and the global spotlight. Jacinda is nurturing and patient. Like all women, she was subject to the bias and negative judgement women when she demonstrated masculine traits like ambition and decisiveness.

Leaders are by nature “other focused”. It’s hard to keep the tank full or even partially full. We applaud Jacinda for making the decision to leave on her terms, prioritise her life and replenishing her “tank”. Women are around the world can relate from where they stand.

Are you amongst the 50% of women globally experiencing or recovering from burnout?

Mentally answer these questions:

  • Are you a “high achiever” who accepts responsibility and likes to do well?
  • Is your sleep erratic and are you neglecting some of your needs (like social connection?
  • Do you find relief from stress in a drink?
  • Do you feel empty inside?

If you said "yes", you are at risk of (or already at) burnout. These questions are adopted from the 12-stage model of burnout by psychologists Herbert Freudenberger and Gail North.

How full is your tank?

What can you do?

I turned to my network to ask a large diverse group of women how they top up their tanks. These are women with full plates. They are leaders in work and life just like you, they often have too many pots on the stove.

Sharon Longridge, Director at Leadium reminds us, our energy is finite, and it’s depleted in part due to our inability to mentally detach from work. Chewing over work issues and checking email before bed is costly.

Topping your energy tank needs to be intentional. What works for you is what works for you.

How to top up your tank (on your terms).

How to recover physically to promote wellbeing - walking and nature for the win.  

Snorkelling – Getting present in the water gives back on so many levels. 
Morning walk with podcasts - Me time and provides for inspiration on work related content like Adam Grant and This Working Life, The Multipliers to fun stuff like Mamamia and Smartless 
Rest everyday - 10mins with my legs up the walk. Deep breathing in the car. Sleep. My mottos: "With big achievement(s) comes big rest" " If I go down or get burnt out, so do my dreams and goals". Heidi- Business Founder and Inclusion Advocate 
Run with a friend – Go running with a friend who’s as slow as me so we can talk for an hour nonstop. 
Catch the reset - Reset my routine when it's spiralled into the ice-cream zone. Getting back to basics like exercise, vegetables, sleep, repeat.  Try not to be hard on myself for the derailing and excessive Ben and Jerry's consumption. 
Get in the water - Nothing beats a saltwater swim.   
Walk with girlfriends – We chat about everything and anything. I always come back recharged and centred. It's a form of group therapy. I get out of my head, and it gives me energy. 
Lots of walking - At least half an hour or so outside. 
Dog walks – I love starting and ending the day with these. 
Sunday mornings - Stay in bed on Sunday mornings with a cup of tea and read my book in silence. 
Yoga - 20 minutes of yoga no question. Calming, centres and focuses you, breathing gives you energy and more in the tank and takes you out of the busyness of the task at hand! Beck Walsh, Marketing Consultant 
Prioritising sleep!  
A swim - Short or long doesn’t matter. It recalibrates everything. 
Fresh air - Getting out for 20 minutes in the morning before work with one of the dogs. Not only does this put good old fresh air into my lungs but it fills me up spending time in nature, which can only be healing! Nicola, Planning Specialist 
Sleep over housework - I go to bed early and ignore the housework. 
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How to boost emotional health - friends and connection for the win.

Joy – Prioritise and schedule a joy inducing activity and get into that glorious state called flow. Sharon, Director  
Daily dose - My way is to walk in nature. I do it pretty much every day- I really try to focus on the beauty, stillness and presence of the water and the trees. I let the movement de stress me. Michelle, Medical Doctor  
Fake grocery trips - Pretend I’m going supermarket, have a massage and get my nails done in the shopping centre. 
Connect with team - Connecting with junior team members and people outside the organisation to get a different perspective and provide energy. Jacinta, People & Culture 
Simple is beautiful - Finally learning to keep things simple. Enjoying getting out in nature every day - it's non-negotiable.   
Drinks and cheese – enjoy with friends at the local bar and fix the world over a couple of hours talking. 
Time with friends - I top up my tank by spending time with old friends.  It works amazingly well. 
Regularly connect - I have a small group of very close peers who I regularly catch up with. We've set a fortnightly catch up no matter what. They act as my reset buttons. Commercial Finance Director. 
Watch rubbish - watch TV with a face mask on, eating Top Deck chocolate.   
Schedule "alone time" - It doesn't really matter what that looks like, it could be a walk on my own, listening to a podcast, nestling into the corner of the sofa with a cuppa and a book for even as little as 10 minutes, or waiting until everyone is out of the house and watching Netflix with a glass of wine on my own, it is the opportunity to have no demands made of me and be the true master of my own time, even if it is only for a snippet. 
Reclaim time - taking back time when I have evening meetings to help with work life integration. 
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How to improve mental energy - space and new habits for the win.

Alcohol Free - switching to an alcohol-free lifestyle has been a huge game changer and my tank has never been fuller!   Belinda, HR Manager 
Disconnect – weeks of complete leave incorporating plenty of exercise, outdoor time, salt water, good food, friends, family, s*x, books, music, sleep. 
Hammock time - swinging in a hammock for 20 minutes on the weekend watching the clouds. 
Pockets of space – space between doing is where clarity, insights and creativity emerge. 
Retreating from the world - allowing myself time out to just be quiet and not “on”.  Alison, Marketing Leader 
Cook with Air Pods - listen to comedy podcasts while ignoring silent arguments going on around me in the kitchen. 
Time out – lying or sitting at the park or having a fun day/night out with good friends. Jo, Social Planner  
Stress bust - when we reach a stress point, we take a 2-3 min walk down the block to reset.  Even on slammed days, or -30 temps! 
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How will you top up your tank today?

Let’s be honest, despite our best individual efforts to stay healthy and avoid burnout, there are bigger forces at play that make this very hard. Societal structures and organisational and systems make it impossible or unsafe for people to look after themselves. When discrimination, bullying, job loss and lack of support are at play, individual actions are not enough. We are privileged to be able to top up our tanks.

Feeling safe tops up your tank.

You may have heard of psychological safety. Amy Edmonson defines it as “the confidence that candour and vulnerability are welcome in a workplace”.  

Brene Brown says.

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

The question is, with so much change and stress in our workplaces, how do we make it safe for people to manage personal energy? How do we set the tone for open, safe conversations where being vulnerable is not a high risk.

We’d love you to share your ideas below. What resonates? How are you topping up your tank? 

As with any information created for or by Meno Collective & Menopause Experts Group, the information in this post is accurate at the time of posting and is for information purposes only. Information is not intended to replace or substitute the judgment of any medical professional. You should always seek advice from your health care professional regarding a medical condition.

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